My Butcher........My Friend

Last year, the school my kids go to sold fresh turkey's for our American holiday celebration..Thanksgiving. We already had plans to go to London since we needed a change of scenery after arriving 3 months prior. So I froze our turkey in our american size refrig/freeze in our cave for another time.

Here we are a year later and it is time to do this turkey. So, I have my smoker and was going to throw it in and smoke up my 9kilo turkey and see what happened. As the day got closer, it got colder and my small smoker would be hard to keep warm. I didn't want to put it in my oven because I would really have to babysit it. Then a light dawned in my head (I felt like a lightbulb over my head just came on for all to see). My butcher has these massive rotisserie's.

So I had taken my turkey out 3 days prior but it was still frozen. I decided to take it to him anyway and see what he could do. I went down early on a sunday morning around 8:30 because I knew very few french people would be there and I could take my time with him. I get down there and Peter (a young man who speaks english at the butcher) and the man he calls "the boss" was there and both greeted me with a, "Bonjour John." I told Peter I needed to talk to him and the boss. I told him my dilemma and was wondering if he would truss up the turkey and put it on the rotisserie. I had written up my request on Google Translate, translated it to french and printed it out. As they both read it, they got this frown across their face and I knew what they were curious about. Once I had translated it to french, I had it translated back to english. Well, the translation for trussing up the turkey literally translated to "wire the bird to me." I explained that I wanted the bird tied up so that the legs and wings didn't flop everywhere and they both smiled and said, "d'accord." He then took the turkey out and found it to be frozen still and he was like, "merde." They talked and they said they could thaw on top of the rotisserie. Before I left, he asked if he could season the turkey and I said, he was the Chef du Cuisine and he could do what he wanted. He said I could come back at 1:30 and pick it up.

I returned after church feeling joyous for I knew that it had to be good because all of their food is good. I walked up to their booth at the market and saw my bird on the spit all alone (market starts closing around 2) but there was a crowd of french people with their kids just staring at it. The butcher came over and took it off the spit and brought it over to the table and was taking out the center spike holder. As he did, the french kids were just going on and on pointing to it and talking to their parents and the parents were jabbering away. It was causing quite a fuss as they had never seen anything that big before.

I stood there in awe of how beautiful it looked. As I saw him take off the bar that held it, I asked what he had done to it. Peter explained that to keep the breast moist, he covered the turkey in bacon, trussed it all up and put in on. Can I tell you how awesome that turkey was? I know just by the description and photo that you KNOW it was good. It is a technique that I will tuck away for when I return to the states and I am looking into commercial type rotisseries now. So as they packaged it up for me to take home, I asked, "combien je vous dois?" He said that I didn't owe him anything, that he was happy to do it for me because I was such a good and loyal customer. I told him that I feel I should pay him for his time, but he refused to take my money. I couldn't have been more proud of this frenchman because this is not the norm that I have run into. For the service he has provided, I will be forever grateful.

This is why the butcher is my friend, he produces great product and also has great service. I will miss him

Live life like there is no tomorrow......

To some, the titles sounds awfully selfish. But this has been a hard week for me. A friend of mine was in a bicycle accident. Not one that you would think would be horrible like being hit by a car running into something at high speed. No, a world class athlete (been pro biker since he was a teenager), who watches what he eats, is incredibly in tune with his body and it's limitations, passed out on a rigorous ride. He doesn't remember anything (because he hit his head and his helmet broke giving him a concussion) and he can't remember the 15 minutes or so before that. His doctors aren't 100% sure what is wrong with him and still doing more tests. As I have been praying for him and his family, it has made me think of what is important and am I doing enough to further HIS Kingdom.

If we (I) lived each day like it was our last, we would ___________? I know I am not the first person to ask this question, nor will I be the last. Am I working hard enough on myself to make sure I am healthy and around for my children as they grow up? Am I doing my part to instill in them right and wrong, giving it your best and nothing less, being respectful and mindful? So many other things they will need as they grow up into strong independent adults.

The other day, I happen to look over and starring back at me was a photo of the kids when they were 2 and 6 respectively (taken by Don at Lakewood Photography). I started to get a little misty eyed as I thought about how much better a father I could have been in those early years. I could have been more compassionate, caring, nurturing. Was I living at that time like their was no tomorrow? Was I doing everything I could for my kids? Was I doing HIS will and everything for HIM so I could show my kids God's love?

I realize that life is a dance. You need to do what makes you happy and pursuit it. Next you need to devote just enough time to it so that it doesn't interfere in being with your family and their pursuits. You need to make sure that their pursuits are being met and they do their best and finally you need a little down time. Lastly, make sure they know the Lord our God will always be there in good times and in bad and HIS will for their lives is the right path. Now this dance has music, atmosphere, and multiple partners and they all must work together to not trip over each others feet, yet flow seamlessly to the choreography.

I know that I am not your typical blogger, my thoughts may stray back and forth zig zagging like many levels of a Metro station. Anyway, life is too short to live like you will live forever, rather, pursuit your passion, make sure your family is pursuing theirs and just enjoy each other for as long as you can. Love your family and Love God.

Why don't the french wear watches......time is not relevant

So, I know I have ranted about the French and "time," but tonight I have figured it all out. The french believe that americans waste time doing trivial things and that their way of life is "living." So here is a typical french persons day in this rednecks perspective (now living amongst them). They decide to go to work around 9-9:30am and work for an hour or so, but then it is time for a coffee break. Not go get some coffee and come back to your work area, but go hang out, talk about life for 30+ minutes. They decide again to go back to work around 11am and proceed to work for about an hour; then it is time for lunch. Now I know I have extolled on the wonders of the 2 hour lunch. Businesses shut down (no shopping for you from 12-2pm) and go feed themselves. Most americans would say, hey that is great, time away to relax and enjoy lunch. Fine. The french decide to go back to work again around 2pm and manage to work this time for about 2 hours before you guessed it; coffee break. So now around 4-4:30pm is more time for coffee (and smoke'em if you gottem) and again discuss the wonders of life. Again, they decide to go back to work around 5 and work for another couple of hours deciding they have put in enough "hard time" at work and stammer out the door at around 7-7:30pm to head home. This too is a time killer, but they don't mind sitting in traffic on a bus for 1-2 hours or packing themselves into the metro like sardines and take an hour or so to get home.

This is where things get fun. If you aren't going to cook and take your family out to eat (like we have currently experienced here at our 4-star resort restaurant, service is going to take 2-3 hours. So lets discuss tonight's festivities.

We take the first seating at 7:30 (heavens to betsey people WANT to eat earlier) and proceed to be waited on and our entire meal's order taken; starter, entree and dessert. Again keeping in mind the french don't mind sitting around twiddling their thumbs. It takes 30 minutes to bring the starter (we will discuss the food in a later paragraph). During this time more people are coming in with their 3-4 children (france seems to have more kids per family than the U.S. because they pay way less taxes the more kids you have). So now we are finished with our starter and 2, 3, and 4 year old kids are running around this 4-star hotel restaurant that is VERY, VERY expensive. After taking our starter plates away, we wait 45 minutes for our entree to which 3 of us get served and they bring nothing for Katherine who just ordered a steak (safe meal to order even though steak is like shoe leather over here). And we sit (we don't start because it is rude, we think they are bringing Katherine. 10 minutes pass and still no entree for our daughter who has ordered a 40 euro steak.

She feels bad and orders us to eat before ours gets cold. We finish our meal before anyone notices or we can flag anyone to say, "Hey, where is her's?" Now we don't like to stick out and make a fuss, but if you were paying 40-50 euros per person to eat, don't you think getting food out would be a priority? Waitress comes over doesn't know what happened and said they are cooking it now. Mind you this dinner started at 7:30 and it is now 9:30 before she gets something (30 minutes after Liz and I finish). 30 more minutes pass by before dessert comes. We finally pick up and leave at 10:30pm. Now this entire time those same children who had been running around the restaurant had been doing so for 3 hours. Who subjects their 2, 3, or 4 year old to that? Can it be fun to spend 200-300 euros for dinner and really not enjoy it? Oh, but they do, that is what they say is the fun in spending "family time" together. Bull. Family time is cooking at home, sitting an playing games, watching a movie together, not chasing kids in a restaurant that you are supposed to be paying for good food (again discuss in a minute) and ambiance.

Someone smarter than me is going to have to explain to me how this way of doing things is productive. They only turned our table 1 time (just us). how do you make any money that way?

4-star restaurant food. Maybe I am too much of a redneck to appreciate high-falutin food. I get as my starter soup with pieces of John Dory in it. Sounds great. It comes out ice cold. Who thinks eating cold tomato soup with cold veggies and cold pieces of fish in it? I guess because you are not cooking for the "majority" of the culture, that only weird people can really relate to this marvel of "complex" cooking (or cooling). I love food; as is evident by my size. And I think that I have a fairly discerning palate. But this is just not the way "real people" eat. Only those who think they must have something so far out, so far fetched, so out of the reach of "commoners" think this is food style.

Not me, give me a piece of steak breaded and thrown in the grease to get nice and crispy and put some mash potatoes on it with some nice country gravy. I will put that toe-to-toe with any Michelin Starred chef and I will sell circles around them and people waiting out the door to get it.

Bon Appetit!!!!!

Diary of a Mad Fat Man: The Naked Truth

Some of you may have seen this post before, cause 2 years ago, I thought I was changing my life......but I didn't. I came up with all kinds of excuses, one of which was, I don't have time. Well here I am in Paris, no job and plenty of time and I still manage to not change my life. There comes a life changing moment and for me, that is today. I want to be able to ride a bike longer than 20 minutes without stopping. I want to be able to hike, ski or more on the home front, be an inspiration to my family.

This is the first post of what is going to shape up to be a monumental life change. I have decided that this is not a "diet" but a lifestyle change, a change in habits and portions. I have adopted a few ideas from several places, but mainly from Weight Watchers (which my wife has done for years) and a neighbor across the street (in houston) who lost over 100lbs by just watching what he ate.

I will have a weekly update just like weight watchers so I can see where I stand each week. I start the week tipping the scales at 350 lbs. Now according to the National Weight/Height Chart, I should be around 222 lbs, but I am going to float myself an extra 28 lbs to get to 250 lbs. Even giving myself the little fudging, I am looking at 100 lbs. Now that is not out of the question, and can be done. As the old joke goes, Q: "How do you eat an elephant?" A: "One bite at a time!"

So, eating good has to start, I live in a place that worships fresh food and it is in abundance. I bought P90X, and although it says you have to be in great shape to do this program, I believe it will give me the tools to get up and moving. A really good friend over here has been encouraging me on my biking and will continue to work on that.

Pray that I can get up off my duff and make the change rather than just speak of it.

To be continued..............

Mr. Destiny........go back or not to go back.....

Mr. Destiny (watch 6:20-7:30).

It is a story of Larry Burrows who didn't think his life was what he thought it should be. It all stemmed from a single instance earlier in his life in school. He wished his life had turned out differently, yet he didn't realize how great his life already was.

One of the rules I have lived by since I found my relationship with Christ at age 19 is, "Every experience (good and bad) affects and shapes who you are. People are notorious for asking, "Don't you wish you could go back and do that over again?" I have always said no, because I believe that if I changed one decision, that would affect future experiences. I have also discussed this with every 10th grade sunday school class we have taught the last 12 years and expressed that every decision we make forms who we are and will affect future decisions and experiences.

For example. I moved 3 times in 4 years. If I said I wanted to go back to just before the last move to Bartlesville, OK, and told my parents that I didn't want to move. Since they had asked me if it was okay I could have said, I would really like to stay here and graduate with my friends since it was only going to be another 2 years. If they had said, we understand and we love you enough to honor your wish, my life would be completely different. I would never have met my current wife in High School and become high school sweethearts, dated 6 years and been married now for the last 20 years.

But this week has challenged that. I think about a moment in time that I would like to go back to and change 1 bad decision. I know by changing that decision, there is a 100% chance I wouldn't be where I am today (meaning just not in Paris), but where I am in my life. I won't be with my fantastic wife and I would have the kids I currently have. Now, that doesn't mean I wouldn't be married or have kids, but I may not have these. Okay, let's not go so far back, what if I changed 1 decision just after my first child was born. That decision profoundly affects future events without a doubt. It could mean that I am a much better father, it will change the way a discipline and understand. But it could also mean that we decide to have a 2nd child sooner and that Jackson possibly wouldn't be our current Jackson. Maybe it means that we aren't actually here in Paris

Being a parent calls in to questions your ability to be a parent. Your ability to be good parents. And if you should have even become a parent. The decisions we make profoundly affect how our children grow up and form opinions and develop their character. Is it possible to change and redirect the direction your child goes? Can you change character issues? Can a bad moral flaw be changed? Can you teach them that the path they are on is not right and that they feel and understand that? Can you give them that "little voice" inside that says, "this isn't right, I shouldn't do this."

I question my own ability to redirect this path and if they will listen and change. Being a parent is the hardest thing anyone could ever embark on. Harder than running a marathon, learning to be a first class doctor or any other incredible challenge. It is good that there are actually great parents out there to counter those of us who just don't cut it.

No going back now.........

LOOK OUT Lance Armstrong.....I'm the guy in your way as you ride by

So, today was the inaugural ride. I decided the best way to do this was to let the kids ride their bikes to school (which is what they have been bugging me about) and test everything out. I get out my specially designed riding shorts; which by the way feels as if I am wearing a huge woman's pad between my legs. Then there was the specially designed shoes that go with the pedals that I bought which have tiny clips in them so your feel feel like they are cemented in (must be what an outgoing Mob Boss feels like as he enters the river).

Next it was time to don the helmet. Perfect fit and fit as though I remembered it. So out we went. To the end of the drive and walked all the bikes across the street. The kids mounted their and so did I. For 2 minutes, I struggled to get my feet clipped in (never having practiced this ahead of time). I finally got them in and as we approached a stoplight, I panic'd as I couldn't get my feet out of the clips until brut strength won out. So we got to the school without much fanfare, but with much worry from me as my kids rode in the bike lane on the street (not sure we can do that again). The one thing that I also didn't figure out ahead of time (because I had ridden bikes before) but how to switch gears. I could switch them down, but I couldn't figure out how to gear it up. So at the school, after about 10 minutes of following all the moving parts, I figured out this very complex riding machine.

Now it was time to head home. It is a 2km ride there, so 2km ride back. As I started back my vision of Grandeur gave way to my body mocking me. It was basically all downhill going to school, so now it was all uphill going home. The old saying it's like riding a bike, you never forget. You may not forget, but your body sure has a short memory as to how hard it was. The heavy breathing and the now burning, shooting pain in my legs was telling me that uphill was probably not the way to start training. So half way back to the house (only 1km into my ride home) I had to stop, take off the shoes and walk the rest of the way home. I did get a bunch of strange looks as people know that is not the way to ride a bike.

I guess the moral of this story is going to have to be....use a trainer (that is a stand the rear wheel goes on so you can ride inside as a stationary bike) until you build up the required muscles to be able to venture outside to an even harder challenge.

Sorry muscles, we will work more tomorrow.

HEADLINE FRANCE.....Stupid American and his son get locked in the Parc de St. Cloud

So Jackson got a new bike yesterday and so after putting it together, he and I went to the park across the street and taught him how to change gears (first multiple gear bike). The park closes (gets locked up) at 8:50pm. We were only about 15 yards from the gate, and it started to get dark, I look down and it was 8:40, so we headed back up the hill 15 yards to find the gate locked. So jackson sort of started freaking out; it was locked and it was getting dark. I told him we would head down to find another way to get out and went to the next gate. Jackson go there first and it was locked and he started screaming and crying we were locked in. Again, I told him, we would keep walking and see if we can find a way out. After walking part of the park, we found no other place to get out.

So, I called one of the expat parents I had recently talked to and told them of our dilemma. She and her husband got in the car and headed our way as well as they called the local police to find out what to do(as there is no phone number on the inside of the gate). As we were standing there waiting, a couple across the street walking their dog looked at us with a puzzled look. I didn't yell out, "hey we're trapped" cause if they only spoke french, we were doomed to communicate. She wandered across the street and I said, "Bonsoir, parlez vous anglais?" She said, "of course." She said, "Hey you are part of ASP!" (all that time volunteering paid off). I told her and her husband what had happened and so now they are trying to help. They went next door which was the Pasteur Institute and the guard there couldn't help either, but now he was on the phone now too talking to the police. The one couple who was walking their dog now had brought back 2 30' aluminum ladders that we put one through the fence and I propped it up. The guard next door kept yelling in french that we shouldn't try and climb over that it was dangerous and wait for the police.

We were now an hour into our ordeal, 3 phone lines going to the police and a big fat cop on a motorcycle comes down and stops and just looks and starts asking why there are ladders on the fence, not recognizing me and jackson on the other side (even though that is why he was called in the first place). He sort of meandered off the bike, came up to the gate, looked at me with this, "stupid american" smirk on his face and let us out.

So, to Steve and Erin Nowicki (THANK YOU) to the other ASP family who stopped (whose name I didn't get THANK YOU), and to all my ASP (american expats) here in France.....don't get locked in the park after the time, but if you do...call the police and just wait. Lesson learned.