It is a story of Larry Burrows who didn't think his life was what he thought it should be. It all stemmed from a single instance earlier in his life in school. He wished his life had turned out differently, yet he didn't realize how great his life already was.
One of the rules I have lived by since I found my relationship with Christ at age 19 is, "Every experience (good and bad) affects and shapes who you are. People are notorious for asking, "Don't you wish you could go back and do that over again?" I have always said no, because I believe that if I changed one decision, that would affect future experiences. I have also discussed this with every 10th grade sunday school class we have taught the last 12 years and expressed that every decision we make forms who we are and will affect future decisions and experiences.
For example. I moved 3 times in 4 years. If I said I wanted to go back to just before the last move to Bartlesville, OK, and told my parents that I didn't want to move. Since they had asked me if it was okay I could have said, I would really like to stay here and graduate with my friends since it was only going to be another 2 years. If they had said, we understand and we love you enough to honor your wish, my life would be completely different. I would never have met my current wife in High School and become high school sweethearts, dated 6 years and been married now for the last 20 years.
But this week has challenged that. I think about a moment in time that I would like to go back to and change 1 bad decision. I know by changing that decision, there is a 100% chance I wouldn't be where I am today (meaning just not in Paris), but where I am in my life. I won't be with my fantastic wife and I would have the kids I currently have. Now, that doesn't mean I wouldn't be married or have kids, but I may not have these. Okay, let's not go so far back, what if I changed 1 decision just after my first child was born. That decision profoundly affects future events without a doubt. It could mean that I am a much better father, it will change the way a discipline and understand. But it could also mean that we decide to have a 2nd child sooner and that Jackson possibly wouldn't be our current Jackson. Maybe it means that we aren't actually here in Paris
Being a parent calls in to questions your ability to be a parent. Your ability to be good parents. And if you should have even become a parent. The decisions we make profoundly affect how our children grow up and form opinions and develop their character. Is it possible to change and redirect the direction your child goes? Can you change character issues? Can a bad moral flaw be changed? Can you teach them that the path they are on is not right and that they feel and understand that? Can you give them that "little voice" inside that says, "this isn't right, I shouldn't do this."
I question my own ability to redirect this path and if they will listen and change. Being a parent is the hardest thing anyone could ever embark on. Harder than running a marathon, learning to be a first class doctor or any other incredible challenge. It is good that there are actually great parents out there to counter those of us who just don't cut it.
No going back now.........
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