Friday, June 7, 2013

The Beginning and the End.....happy & sad at the same time.



As we come to the end of the year, that one question looms and is asked from person to person……”Are you staying or going?”  Then you get the packet from the school asking if you are going to re-register to save your child a spot or check the box that says you are leaving.  For some this is an easy question, for others it is not.  For some there is an answer, for others there is not.  For some, the decision came easy and for others it was a struggle; with much discussion, pros and cons, laughter and tears.   These decisions include conversations about friends, the school, traveling and jobs.
Only in an expat community will you have the opportunity to mix and meld with people from all walks of life, income and nationality.  At ASP alone, there are over 57 countries represented.  Friendships in the expat community are formed out of necessity because of being in a completely new situation and environment.  These friendships are sometimes deeper than those you have had for years.  Because everyone there (or most) have left their home country which can mean leaving homes, towns, friends and jobs you have known for years.  For me, that meant friends we had known for 16 years, a job of 16 years and a house my kids had known their whole life. 
Another reason for quickly forming friendships is you need to list someone as emergency contacts for field trips, school functions.   You will rely on them to help you settle in, show you how things work in your new country and introduce you to other friends.  Being an expat forces you to come out of the box you built for yourself  and rely on new people that you may have known now for just a few weeks.   You will examine the criteria you have developed to choose friends, and all of this is done in a fast-track fashion.  You must quickly figure out if these people are going to be included in your circle of friends and even consider them family.  I personally have friends from Norway, Netherlands, Canada, Portugal, Spain, India, Italy and Brazil.   I have friends who are professional soccer players that play with David Beckham, that are major players in the movie business, even executives who work for the happiest place on earth.  But, to the rest of us in the expat community, they are just parents of our kids friends, people we hang out and have a glass of wine or beer with.
For those leaving, know that you will be missed, that the friendships made here will forever be etched on our hearts.  The Holiday Boutique, International Day, Living Skills Classes, Jazzercise, and Orientation days we have shared and worked together.  The wine clubs, dinners shared, Gala’s, Tours, walks in the park and birthday parties.  These are all things we will never forget because you were a part of them with us.
For those staying, realize that new folks will be coming in and they will need your love and friendship.  They will be scared, anxious and in need of your help.  They will be unfamiliar with local foods, driving, ingredients and getting around.  Also know that your kids will continue to get an education from The Greatest School around with the greatest leader (Mark Ulfers), administration and teachers.  I also know this is a great community of people who will continue to push the new building project forward and I personally look forward to what the campus looks like in the not so near future.
So, I reflect on my time here.  We have had good times, experiences and great travel.   I will miss my outdoor market on Sunday and the best butcher around (Pascal), my Boulangerie ladies, the people at my favorite italian joint (Il Boccoccio), our favorite wine bar/restaurant O’Chateau and Charbon Rouge.  I will miss the metro system, the easiest way to get around.  I will miss being able to go on a high speed train at 352mph and being in London in 2 ½ hours, or in the french alps to ski in 3 ½ hours, or anywhere you can want a train to take you.   I will miss the rich history here, the chateau’s, the cooking classes, the museums, and food.  I reflect on everywhere we have been and the things we have seen; London, Stuttgart, Munich, Austria, Berchtesgaden, Neuschwanstein, Gunzburg, Barcelona, Mardrid, Dubai, Belgium, Pompeii, Corsica, Parma, Toledo, Segovia, Fountainbleu, Pierrefonds, Bayeux, Caen, Normandy, El Escorial, Chantilly, Malta, Rome, Pisa, Florance, Le Spezia, Villefranche, Monaco, Asnières-sur-Oise, Civitavecchia, Tours, Camembert, Mont Saint Michel, Tours, Amsterdam, Mulhouse, Chamonix Mont Blanc, Switzerland, Turkey, Piraeus, Kusadasi, Mykonos and Malta.  I will always remember how lucky we are and that God put us here for a reason.
I wanted to let those of you know who made my/our life fun and memorable during our time here.   I will probably forget to mention someone here, but here it goes.  Thank you to: Erin, Steve, Jone, Sean, Randy, Eric, Damon, Ed, Janice, Tracy, Kristin, David, Peter Paul, Daniel, Cassidy, Cohen, Michele, Lori, Susan, Amy, Radhika, Andrea, Kristi, Krista, Jeremy, Tracy, Irma, Joanna, Carole, Mark Ulfers, Aaron Hubbard, Margaret Coleman, Kathy Miner, Han, Catharine McLaury, Paul Albright, Ms. Forbes, Mr. McGregor, Ms. Lynch, Brenda, Kim, Laura and most of all Mr. Chris Chater. 
Michele & Damon, thanks for all the good times and being our friends, we will never forget your love and generosity and the support you gave us and being there when we needed it.  Ed, thanks for all the support and advice on my business and for hanging with me.  Eric, thanks for being my “twin.”  I always wondered what that would be like.  Thanks for all the “lunches” and for being my go to guy.  When I eat Chinese food, I will think of you.  Daniel & Cassidy, thanks for being a fresh breath of air here and keep moving forward with God’s plan, you will do amazing things here.  We are so blessed to have had what little time we had with you, in spite of your incorrect college loyalties.  Ms. Lynch, thanks for giving Katherine the ability to prove herself as a leader and that hard work does pay off.  Mr. Chater, thanks for giving my son an amazing confidence when he is on stage.  Thanks for encouraging him and letting him know he is a valuable kid (which you do for ALL the kids).  But we watched Jackson grow under your guidance and we thank you for that.
            I reflect on the good times going out with friends to restaurants, outings, home dinners, game playing, and laughing with some really great people.  We remember all those who have come to visit us and share in our “new world.”  I will never forget my time here and hope one day to return to an overseas life.  I hope that my time here was inspiring to others and that I changed a few opinions and stereotypes about the life I live.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Family Trifecta...1 family in 3 countries...Missing them




Anzere, Switzerland
In Europe, vacations are a lifestyle.  As a European citizen, you get a minimum of 4 weeks just for working part time at McDonalds.  I mean if you got 40 vacation days a year (8 weeks) plus all holidays,  wouldn't you make it a lifestyle?  This week is what the french call Ski Week, where they take 2 weeks off and, well....Ski.  

So, one of the really cool things that the school our kids attend is they take class ski trips.  Jackson this week is at Anzere, Switzerland with 14 other of his friends.  Now this is monumental as Jackson has never been really "thrilled" about skiing even though he has been
in ski school since he was 5, twice a year in  Crested Butte.  But this year when he heard that his favorite teacher (Chris Chater; a 44 year music teacher at this school) was leading it, he begged to go.  The trip does not come cheap, but if this is the "spark" that will put him on the ski "track" then we were all for it.  So, jackson is out of the country on his expedition, and it is the first time since he was born that I am worried about him.  He has been on week long trips with his school before, and he has great teachers with him.  So why am I so worried?  My wish is that he has an amazing time, that he has a memory that is a good one that will have him wanting more.  That he stays healthy, is able to eat whatever they are serving (as he is a picky eater and has been known to go hungry if he didn't like the food), and stays safe.

Chamonix, France
One of the things we kept telling ourselves, is how can you come to france and not ski the French Alps?  So to check that off the bucket list, we planned to go to Chamonix, France during ski week while Jackson was on his adventure.  This place has been visited by many ASP expat families over the years, a group of ASP men who go every Feb., and recommended as family friendly.  So, I booked the accommodations, which by the way is one of the hardest things to do only because you just don't know where to go, or stay, or how nice the place is.  So what I spend a lot of time (and most expats will agree) is doing research, finding someplace, then going to tripadvisor and other websites to see what others have thought.  What is nice about Chamonix is that you are right on the border of France, Switzerland and Italy.  You see the Famous Mont Blanc (if you ever wondered where your pens were made) and you can ski 5 different mountains.   I why am I so worried about my wife and daughter?  Because I want them to have a great mother/daughter weekend, that the ski resort if all that they want it to be (as I said, have never been ourselves), and that they stay safe and healthy and nothing goes wrong. 

I worry about my family because, well.....I am a problem solver, always have been.  Even as a kid growing up, I had to be a problem solver as I watched my parents fight and figure out how to get them to stop.  I love solving problems so much, that I probably do it too much for everyone.

Houston, TX
So here I am, heading to the U.S. and going to say goodbye to an amazing man (Don Bateman) who with his amazing family, made us feel like a part of their family.  When my in-laws moved to China in 1996, they stepped in and because surrogate parents to us and then when we had kids, they took our kids as their own grandkids.  Not only that, I was blessed to be able to sing with Don on many occasion from big choir, to chamber singers to singing some good ol' quartet songs.  I am worried about singing for the funeral.  I haven't sung in over a year and not with a quartet in 5 years.  I want this last request to be the best, as is deserved for this great man.  I worry that I will forget the words, or notes or plain just blank.  But for now, I will continue to practice to make it great.

As part of my trip, I am doing some more problems solving in the case of finding a house to live in when we return to the states.  Texas is one of the few states that housing hasn't been affected by the recession, so that makes finding one a challenge.  Plus it is a scary proposition to buy a house when I don't have a job.  We are going to do something we didn't do on the first 2 houses we bought, and that solution is to buy a house and live as though we have 1 income, that way when I do get a job, that can just be tucked into the bank.

So as this family is in 3 different countries all at the same time, I will try not to worry to much.  Although, it is in my nature when I am not around.  I will leave it to God to protect my family and watch over them.  I pray that they all have an amazing time, build memories, stay safe and things go all as planned.  We may be in 3 different countries, but we will always be 1family.