Friday, June 7, 2013

The Beginning and the End.....happy & sad at the same time.



As we come to the end of the year, that one question looms and is asked from person to person……”Are you staying or going?”  Then you get the packet from the school asking if you are going to re-register to save your child a spot or check the box that says you are leaving.  For some this is an easy question, for others it is not.  For some there is an answer, for others there is not.  For some, the decision came easy and for others it was a struggle; with much discussion, pros and cons, laughter and tears.   These decisions include conversations about friends, the school, traveling and jobs.
Only in an expat community will you have the opportunity to mix and meld with people from all walks of life, income and nationality.  At ASP alone, there are over 57 countries represented.  Friendships in the expat community are formed out of necessity because of being in a completely new situation and environment.  These friendships are sometimes deeper than those you have had for years.  Because everyone there (or most) have left their home country which can mean leaving homes, towns, friends and jobs you have known for years.  For me, that meant friends we had known for 16 years, a job of 16 years and a house my kids had known their whole life. 
Another reason for quickly forming friendships is you need to list someone as emergency contacts for field trips, school functions.   You will rely on them to help you settle in, show you how things work in your new country and introduce you to other friends.  Being an expat forces you to come out of the box you built for yourself  and rely on new people that you may have known now for just a few weeks.   You will examine the criteria you have developed to choose friends, and all of this is done in a fast-track fashion.  You must quickly figure out if these people are going to be included in your circle of friends and even consider them family.  I personally have friends from Norway, Netherlands, Canada, Portugal, Spain, India, Italy and Brazil.   I have friends who are professional soccer players that play with David Beckham, that are major players in the movie business, even executives who work for the happiest place on earth.  But, to the rest of us in the expat community, they are just parents of our kids friends, people we hang out and have a glass of wine or beer with.
For those leaving, know that you will be missed, that the friendships made here will forever be etched on our hearts.  The Holiday Boutique, International Day, Living Skills Classes, Jazzercise, and Orientation days we have shared and worked together.  The wine clubs, dinners shared, Gala’s, Tours, walks in the park and birthday parties.  These are all things we will never forget because you were a part of them with us.
For those staying, realize that new folks will be coming in and they will need your love and friendship.  They will be scared, anxious and in need of your help.  They will be unfamiliar with local foods, driving, ingredients and getting around.  Also know that your kids will continue to get an education from The Greatest School around with the greatest leader (Mark Ulfers), administration and teachers.  I also know this is a great community of people who will continue to push the new building project forward and I personally look forward to what the campus looks like in the not so near future.
So, I reflect on my time here.  We have had good times, experiences and great travel.   I will miss my outdoor market on Sunday and the best butcher around (Pascal), my Boulangerie ladies, the people at my favorite italian joint (Il Boccoccio), our favorite wine bar/restaurant O’Chateau and Charbon Rouge.  I will miss the metro system, the easiest way to get around.  I will miss being able to go on a high speed train at 352mph and being in London in 2 ½ hours, or in the french alps to ski in 3 ½ hours, or anywhere you can want a train to take you.   I will miss the rich history here, the chateau’s, the cooking classes, the museums, and food.  I reflect on everywhere we have been and the things we have seen; London, Stuttgart, Munich, Austria, Berchtesgaden, Neuschwanstein, Gunzburg, Barcelona, Mardrid, Dubai, Belgium, Pompeii, Corsica, Parma, Toledo, Segovia, Fountainbleu, Pierrefonds, Bayeux, Caen, Normandy, El Escorial, Chantilly, Malta, Rome, Pisa, Florance, Le Spezia, Villefranche, Monaco, Asnières-sur-Oise, Civitavecchia, Tours, Camembert, Mont Saint Michel, Tours, Amsterdam, Mulhouse, Chamonix Mont Blanc, Switzerland, Turkey, Piraeus, Kusadasi, Mykonos and Malta.  I will always remember how lucky we are and that God put us here for a reason.
I wanted to let those of you know who made my/our life fun and memorable during our time here.   I will probably forget to mention someone here, but here it goes.  Thank you to: Erin, Steve, Jone, Sean, Randy, Eric, Damon, Ed, Janice, Tracy, Kristin, David, Peter Paul, Daniel, Cassidy, Cohen, Michele, Lori, Susan, Amy, Radhika, Andrea, Kristi, Krista, Jeremy, Tracy, Irma, Joanna, Carole, Mark Ulfers, Aaron Hubbard, Margaret Coleman, Kathy Miner, Han, Catharine McLaury, Paul Albright, Ms. Forbes, Mr. McGregor, Ms. Lynch, Brenda, Kim, Laura and most of all Mr. Chris Chater. 
Michele & Damon, thanks for all the good times and being our friends, we will never forget your love and generosity and the support you gave us and being there when we needed it.  Ed, thanks for all the support and advice on my business and for hanging with me.  Eric, thanks for being my “twin.”  I always wondered what that would be like.  Thanks for all the “lunches” and for being my go to guy.  When I eat Chinese food, I will think of you.  Daniel & Cassidy, thanks for being a fresh breath of air here and keep moving forward with God’s plan, you will do amazing things here.  We are so blessed to have had what little time we had with you, in spite of your incorrect college loyalties.  Ms. Lynch, thanks for giving Katherine the ability to prove herself as a leader and that hard work does pay off.  Mr. Chater, thanks for giving my son an amazing confidence when he is on stage.  Thanks for encouraging him and letting him know he is a valuable kid (which you do for ALL the kids).  But we watched Jackson grow under your guidance and we thank you for that.
            I reflect on the good times going out with friends to restaurants, outings, home dinners, game playing, and laughing with some really great people.  We remember all those who have come to visit us and share in our “new world.”  I will never forget my time here and hope one day to return to an overseas life.  I hope that my time here was inspiring to others and that I changed a few opinions and stereotypes about the life I live.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Family Trifecta...1 family in 3 countries...Missing them




Anzere, Switzerland
In Europe, vacations are a lifestyle.  As a European citizen, you get a minimum of 4 weeks just for working part time at McDonalds.  I mean if you got 40 vacation days a year (8 weeks) plus all holidays,  wouldn't you make it a lifestyle?  This week is what the french call Ski Week, where they take 2 weeks off and, well....Ski.  

So, one of the really cool things that the school our kids attend is they take class ski trips.  Jackson this week is at Anzere, Switzerland with 14 other of his friends.  Now this is monumental as Jackson has never been really "thrilled" about skiing even though he has been
in ski school since he was 5, twice a year in  Crested Butte.  But this year when he heard that his favorite teacher (Chris Chater; a 44 year music teacher at this school) was leading it, he begged to go.  The trip does not come cheap, but if this is the "spark" that will put him on the ski "track" then we were all for it.  So, jackson is out of the country on his expedition, and it is the first time since he was born that I am worried about him.  He has been on week long trips with his school before, and he has great teachers with him.  So why am I so worried?  My wish is that he has an amazing time, that he has a memory that is a good one that will have him wanting more.  That he stays healthy, is able to eat whatever they are serving (as he is a picky eater and has been known to go hungry if he didn't like the food), and stays safe.

Chamonix, France
One of the things we kept telling ourselves, is how can you come to france and not ski the French Alps?  So to check that off the bucket list, we planned to go to Chamonix, France during ski week while Jackson was on his adventure.  This place has been visited by many ASP expat families over the years, a group of ASP men who go every Feb., and recommended as family friendly.  So, I booked the accommodations, which by the way is one of the hardest things to do only because you just don't know where to go, or stay, or how nice the place is.  So what I spend a lot of time (and most expats will agree) is doing research, finding someplace, then going to tripadvisor and other websites to see what others have thought.  What is nice about Chamonix is that you are right on the border of France, Switzerland and Italy.  You see the Famous Mont Blanc (if you ever wondered where your pens were made) and you can ski 5 different mountains.   I why am I so worried about my wife and daughter?  Because I want them to have a great mother/daughter weekend, that the ski resort if all that they want it to be (as I said, have never been ourselves), and that they stay safe and healthy and nothing goes wrong. 

I worry about my family because, well.....I am a problem solver, always have been.  Even as a kid growing up, I had to be a problem solver as I watched my parents fight and figure out how to get them to stop.  I love solving problems so much, that I probably do it too much for everyone.

Houston, TX
So here I am, heading to the U.S. and going to say goodbye to an amazing man (Don Bateman) who with his amazing family, made us feel like a part of their family.  When my in-laws moved to China in 1996, they stepped in and because surrogate parents to us and then when we had kids, they took our kids as their own grandkids.  Not only that, I was blessed to be able to sing with Don on many occasion from big choir, to chamber singers to singing some good ol' quartet songs.  I am worried about singing for the funeral.  I haven't sung in over a year and not with a quartet in 5 years.  I want this last request to be the best, as is deserved for this great man.  I worry that I will forget the words, or notes or plain just blank.  But for now, I will continue to practice to make it great.

As part of my trip, I am doing some more problems solving in the case of finding a house to live in when we return to the states.  Texas is one of the few states that housing hasn't been affected by the recession, so that makes finding one a challenge.  Plus it is a scary proposition to buy a house when I don't have a job.  We are going to do something we didn't do on the first 2 houses we bought, and that solution is to buy a house and live as though we have 1 income, that way when I do get a job, that can just be tucked into the bank.

So as this family is in 3 different countries all at the same time, I will try not to worry to much.  Although, it is in my nature when I am not around.  I will leave it to God to protect my family and watch over them.  I pray that they all have an amazing time, build memories, stay safe and things go all as planned.  We may be in 3 different countries, but we will always be 1family.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thank you God for loving me before I loved you......


To the people God has put in my life……..

            On a trip back to Houston, I met with some friends who had recently moved back to the states (Dallas) from Paris and just happened (God’s intervention) to be in Houston at the same time.  It was this encounter that I started thinking about my Christian walk and how I got here.  It made me realize that God has been putting people in my life that are not only there to help me, but to further His Kingdom.

One of the things that I would like those of you reading this is to think about your own life.  Who has God placed in your life as part of your Testimony of where you are in your life.  For my former students, I hope you see what I have been trying to teach you all these years.  How my life mimics what I have always taught you.  You don’t have to preach to your friends to let them know who God is.  As my wife and her friends did back in high school, they just planted the seed and let God fertilize it, care for it and help it grow.

Bobby Sepulveda:
My earliest recollection of someone I considered my first “real” friend.  I had just moved from Indiana to Illinois in the 9th grade, an awkward time to say the least.  I wasn’t as handsome then as I am now, and being introverted didn’t help.  Bobby was a senior.  He came from a home where he was raised by his grandparents.  I never knew why.  He was a great guy.  He was upstanding, good grades and proud of the very old car that he had and the job that earned him the money to put gas in it.  I loved that car, it was my freedom as well because I was not yet old enough to get my permit.   He dated a sophomore named April and we all 3 went everywhere together.  He introduced me to the Y.M.C.A. and a great summer program that had 8 young people travel to upper Minnesota and the lakes region and we canoed and camped out for 10 days.  We traveled the lakes and rivers up into Canada sometimes having to carry our canoe between bodies of water.  It was there I learned to be away from home, grow up and get outside of my comfort zone.  I thank Bobby for all the memories of bowling, hanging out and helping me grow up.

Nov. 8
Doug Burgess & Family:
We were very fortunate to be able to build from the ground up the first house we ever owned.  We were the 2nd people on the cul-de-sac to build on our street, so we got to see all the other houses being built and everyone move in.  God blessed us with an amazing neighbor who had just moved in with his wife and 2 young girls and his wife, Felicia, was close to bearing their 3rd.   They are amazing Christian parents and I was lucky enough to be able to learn from them for 5 years.  Doug would be out in the garage working on something (most times tinkering with a car) and I would come to “help” and we would get into the most amazing Christian discussions.  I was able to see how gentle and kind and committed they were to their children and instilling the greatness of God in their lives.  He never turned me down when I needed his help with something that needed fixing on my car or my house.  Sharing the birthday parties of their kids, (and we didn’t even have any).  Being invited for dinners, lunches, or watching football.  I remember thinking; I hope I have kids like that.  I see their kids now…. I still think the same thing…Thank you God for these great people and the incredible example of a loving family.

Nov. 10th.
R.T. SHIELDS: HS Choir Director
            I grew up in a family that sang (more on that later), but I didn’t really have a passion for it.  I sang, but it was only because it was something to do and my dad was a choir teacher.  When I moved to Bartlesville my junior year, I signed up for choir.   Being the son of a choir director, I never wanted to be in front of anything, so any time he did a musical, I would run sound and lights.  When it came time my junior year in Bartlesville for the musical, R.T. put a sign up sheet for auditions.  One day, he said, I didn’t see your name on the audition list (now keep in mind I have only been at this school for 4 months).  I said, no I usually ran sound and lights for my dad.  He said, I guess you didn’t understand me, I need to see your name on the audition list.  So I reluctantly did and auditioned that day singing you are my sunshine since I hadn’t prepared anything.   When the cast sheet was posted, he had put me as the lead in the musical 7 Brides for 7 Brothers.  What?  How could he do that?  I can’t do this?  I haven’t been a soloist or even acted.  But again God put in place people who didn’t just look at me from the outside, they saw what God wanted them to see and to push me out of my old self and into a new awareness of me. 
            Because he believed in me and pushed me, it was the most amazing experience and that began where I am today.  A love of music, trying out for choir in college and the experience that it gave me.   I am forever in his debt and hope that I can see in others what he saw in me and bring that out of them.

Nov. 12
David Stumpff:
            We moved from Illinois the beginning of my Junior year to Oklahoma.  It is here that I would develop the sense of character that I still continue to have today.  The first person He put in my life would challenge my own perceptions of people and a deep seeded fear of mine would be quashed.  Not only that, but it would change the way I saw people and not judge, but to love.  David was a senior.  He came from a family that earned a very good living, but they weren’t flashy about it.  As a matter of fact were a very grounded family.  David and I had known each other from choir and we became very good friends.  After the first week of school, he found out I was riding the bus to school and told me (not offered) he would be picking me up every day for school.  What a generous thing.  This was just one of many things David and his family did for me especially at a low point in my life.  Davids mom and dad basically were my second parents.  When I was at their house, they treated me as one of their own.  It was that unselfish giving that planted a seed in my heart for being there for people.  I will always be thankful and grateful that God put them in my path.  David’s friendship has transcend time and he will always hold a special place in my heart and life.
           
Nov. 14
Michael & Edna Darby:
Before we had kids, we hung out with 3 other couples and became very close friends.  Amazing Christian couples who were learning about God as couples and as friends.  The Darby’s were the first to have kids, so we got to learn from them about being new parents.  But what was Godly intervention, was that Liz and I were worried about what we would do about childcare as we were about to have our own child.  Edna had decided to stay home and when we approached them about taking care of our yet unborn child; she said yes.  Can I tell you what an amazing peace that brought us.  She was an amazing, loving, caring individual who loved not just our first kid, but our second as well.  She loved my children as they were her own.  The side bonus to all this, is that I got to watch her and how great she was with her kids and mine and how I could learn from that.  She was a great example to me of how to be a good parent.  I don’t know what we would have done without her.  Michael too was great to watch as he is a devoted husband and father and does anything and everything he can for his family.  Watching him, you know family comes first.  They will always have a special place in my heart and my eternal gratitude for teaching me about being a loving parent.

Nov. 15
Mark & Jennifer Ryberg
            Mark & Jennifer were the final couple of the core 4 we got to become close to prior to having kids and then continued after having kids.  What I have learned from Mark & Jen is compromise and cooperation.  Mark’s job is one that takes him away from home a lot during the week, leaving Jen to man the house and juggle her work and kids and activities.  They are a well oiled machine as they balance working and family.  The preconceived notion of a traveling spouse is that whey they are home, they aren’t really home.  That isn’t the case for Mark.  He immerses himself in his kids, whether it is sports, dance or concerts or taking the family our 4-wheeling, pulling a trailer for a parade, father/daughter trip to NY, a father/son philly/NY trip.  Jennifer is lucky too, she gets to spend quality time with her kids as well with dance competitions, boys scouts and special times with them as well.  Mark & Jen are the kind of couple that no matter how long it has been since you last talked, it is as if you just talk yesterday.   They always have time for you and have very generous hearts; they do not know what “NO” is.  Mark and I have had some great talks over the years and he brings a wonderful deep perspective that is rooted in heavy study of God’s Word over many years.  One of the other characteristics that I like about Mark is loyalty.  His loyalty to family, church and friends is without reproach.  I thank God for bringing the Rybergs into my life, because without them, I wouldn’t have learned how to be a more dedicated parent.  I also would have missed out on late night card or board games at the Hudson lake house and the memories I will always have.

Nov. 15
Matt & Judy Shamburger:
            Matt & Judy were part of that “core 4” couples that we were friends with prior to kids (and after).   Through their friendship, I was able to watch what an amazing couple they are.  They compliment each other like ying and yang.  If one has a weakness, the other has the strength to compensate for it.  I have enjoyed Matt’s friendship; it is one of those that you don’t have to talk everyday to stay friends or to feel like you haven’t talked in ages.  Matt is unbelievably smart, loves making lists and goals and usually accomplishes most of them.  He also has the uncanny ability (whether learned from his dad growing up or God given talent) to be able to build or fix anything.  I have loved talking about God with Matt, he brings a deep intellectual view that he combines with real life experience.  Matt let’s me bring anything to him; to dump my issues out and he helps me pick them up, rearrange them and make them look better.  One of the things (besides all the above) is that both of them, through intellect, has been able to show me and teach me is how to keep cool.  To always think things through and to really go to God with our daily issues.  They have also taught me commitment; to God, each other and their kids.  There isn’t anything they wouldn’t do for their kids or each other.  Matt’s job over the last 10+ years has seen him traveling a lot, leaving Judy at home alone to take care of the castle.  Watching how she juggles tasks with the kids, things at home and helping her own family; it taught me how to prioritize and unconditional loving.  She has an incredible spirit and attitude; it is infectious.  I thank God that he allowed me to be a fly on the wall of the Shamburger’s.  Without them, I wouldn’t have learned enough patience and commitment; to love one another’s strengths & weaknesses (and to create lists)

Nov. 16
Stuart Skeeter
            I remember way way back in about 1995, Stuart had come up to me after church and asked me about my job.  I had been an insurance adjuster for about a year and he wanted to know how I liked my job.  We talked for sometime and I found out that he was going to interview with a company called Chubb.  At that time, I had no idea who they were, but I told him I loved my job and I highly recommended it to him.  From that, we became friends and would talk in church and we now also had insurance in common.  What I learned from Stuart from watching him, listening to him teach from time to time and answering questions in Sunday school class is his attention to details.  This came through in being in deep discussions with him about God, watching his dedication to his family and his work.  His dedication and attention to detail shines through even more when he decided to take up running some years back.  He decided to do it and went at it full out to become an amazing runner.  It shows through at work by how far he has come and what he has attained and the respect he has from his clients and colleagues.  If Stuart decides he is doing something, he is going to make sure he does it to the best of his ability; and not just in running, but again, with God, study, family, work and friends.  I thank God for giving me Stuart’s friendship and letting me be able to observe him.  Stuart makes me want to be a better man, more meticulous in everything I do and makes me strive to dig deeper into God’s word.

Nov. 16
Bryan & Deb O’Neil
I arrived in Paris; dazed and confused. We were living in Paris for a few weeks (turns out it was more than 7) and school was in the burbs. We had more things go wrong in our move and it was killing us. About 2 weeks after school started, there was an open house for lower school and there was no problem getting out there as I had been taking the bus up the hill. Problem was, the bus stopped running at 7pm and it was well after 9pm when the event was over and I didn’t know how I was getting home other than walk the 12km to the hotel. I had decided that if I couldn’t find a ride, I would walk the 1 hour back to town. As we were leaving the event, I overheard a couple say to another lady that they were taking her into town. I got up the courage, introduced myself and asked if there was any way they could take me down the hill to the metro. They said sure.
But when we got in the car, they told me they would take me to where ever the hotel was. I told them they didn’t have to, but they said it was late and it was no problem; that was bryan and deb. As we headed to my hotel, they heard my story, and saw that dazed look in my eye and said, “Hey, we were just the same when we first moved here. Tell us what we can do to help.” Who does that? This was only after meeting and talking to me for less than 30 minutes; caring and compassionate. That one encounter would spur a friendship that was my ROCK. For the next 2 years I we got to be great friends, spend a lot of time together, do some fun trips out of paris, fun dinners out and they constantly exuded caring & compassion. They showed that to each other and their kids as well as the people they call friends. I thank God that He gave me the courage to speak to them that first night. I thank God for Bryan & Deb showing me love.  I thank them for their friendship and for letting me be a sounding board for my frustrations. Because without them, I would have never made it through my first year in Paris, they are a Rock. I also appreciate the very special times we shared from Pierrefonds antique shopping to Lassarre and will treasure those memories forever. Thanks Bryan ONeil & Deb O'Neil...I will always love and treasure you and our times together.

Nov. 17
Damon & Michele Biggins
            I have known Damon & Michele for 2 years now, but it seems like we have been friends forever. Living in Paris has allowed me to meet so many great people like Damon & Michele.  They are so comfortable to be around and make everyone feel at home.   What I have learned from Damon & Michele is openness & kindness.  We are similar to them a lot in this respect in that you can ask us anything and we will tell you.  You aren’t afraid of being judged when you are that open with each other and that is so refreshing.  We agree to disagree on some things, but find we are more alike in others.  Michele and Damon would do anything for you and on a couple of occasions, I used Damon as my french interpreter.  Through their friendship, we have been able to share some fun times together.  The Biggins are big UT fans and as you know we are OU fans.  For 2 years in a row, they have hosted us in their home to watch the game.  We have shared good food, good talk, good rivalry and great fun; even if their team let them down for 2 years now.   I see something very special in Damon & Michele.  I thank God for them and will forever be grateful they allowed us to enter their lives.  I thank God for our friendship.  If Michele & Damon weren’t here, life would be dull.

Nov. 18
David & Lauri Gordon:
I was introduced to the Gordon’s some time ago (number of years unknown at this time).   This incredible couple was brought into my life to not only teach me a lesson that I needed, but show me how that Godly lesson was missing from my life; giving.  The Gordon’s taught me giving, unconditional love & humbleness.  Early on in my marriage, I had known that I needed to be giving back to God and my community.  That is easy to say, even harder to do; especially when you are struggling with your own finances and trying to keep up with the “Jones’.”  After I met the Gordon’s and seeing their overwhelming generosity to others, I decided I needed to get our life on the biblical financial track.  We discovered Dave Ramsey and he changed our life.  I understood then what the bible meant by “a cheerful giver.”  They have an unconditional love of al people; I feel it because they basically tell me that their home is my home (and that is not just a saying to them).  They make me feel like I have been a part of the family all my life and that makes trips back so relaxing.   I don’t think the word ‘NO’ is even in their vocabulary.  They do more for their community and church than people know, but they don’t want any recognition; that is the humbleness I hope I can continue to learn.  They have 3 amazing wonderful, talented, beautiful kids and I hope my kids are even a little like theirs.  I thank God for letting me be part of the family and them for being great role models, not just to me, but to anyone whom they meet.  I thank them for continuing to inspire me to be generous in my life.

Nov. 18
Cory Thompson
            Cory entered my life just after Matt came to be Minister of Music.  Cory coming into my life would teach me how to be more confident and to be a better friend.  This was a God thing because without Cory, I wouldn’t have had an amazing 10 year run singing in a gospel quartet with his amazing voice.  Cory has this remarkable confidence and a voice to match, as well as maturity beyond his years.  It is this confidence and maturity that I felt drawn to, not just be around, but to want a little bit to rub off on me.  Part of that confidence and maturity showed through because Cory would do anything for anyone; the word NO really isn’t in his vocabulary.   God blessed him with an incredible voice, but when told he has a great voice, is very humble.  I have been blessed to have Cory in my life, for a little of his confidence, maturity & humility to have rubbed off on me, and for allowing me to sing with him in the quartet.  Cory has many more amazing qualities that I aspire to, a loving husband to a wonderful, beautiful, amazing wife & mother, devoted father to a happy, funny little boy; Canon.  I thank God for Corey.  I know that without him in my life, I wouldn’t have had the confidence to sing in the quartet, strive to be a better singer, man, husband and father.

Nov. 18
Steve & Erin Nowicki
            We were able to get to know them because their daughter was in katherine’s grade at ASP.  They also had an older daughter that we used as a kid watcher if we wanted to go out without kids.  We weren’t able to spend as much time with them as I wish we could have, but both their kids and our kids were b*u*s*y a lot.  But, the times we did spend together, I was able to see what wonderful parents they are.  What they taught me is patience and to not take life so seriously all the time.  They are very Godly people and they make sure their kids know how great God is too.  We were blessed last year when we were kind of down and missing family around thanksgiving.  They saw that and invited us into their home to share thanksgiving with them.  What a thoughtful gesture; to open there home and the tradition of family to welcome us to share in it.  Erin has a gentle spirit and when you are around her, you know that she would walk to the ends of the earth for her kids.  They are the bright shining light in her life and when they walk in from school or where ever, she lights up.  The same can be said for the kids, when they see their parents, they light up.  Erin is also a giver; she gives tons of time to school and to serving the homeless.  Steve and Erin are a beacon in a dark world.   Their love of God shines through in everything they do.  One of my favorite memories is going to dinner one night and sharing a great meal, coming back to their house and talking until 3am.  Well, Erin and I talked; Liz and Steve got into a great biblical discussion (for 2 hours).  I will always cherish those times and hanging with them.  They played a huge part of our enjoyment here in Paris.  I thank God that we got to be included as part of their family and we were sad to see them suddenly go.

Nov. 19
Elizabeth Young:
            Liz saved my life.  If no one believes God has a plan for your life, just look at mine, because this relationship is God sent.  I moved to Oklahoma as a junior and I was lost.  Liz and her friends quickly brought me into their group and made me feel welcome.  They included me in all they did, asked me to sing in the church choir and planting the seed that God was the head of my life.  God had a plan.  We started dating the day after graduation (and for those that know any back story of our relationship know the fact she agreed to date me is a miracle in itself).  From that day, on, we dated for 6 years, but a lot happened in that time.  With not only Liz’s example, but also her parents life example, they showed me God’s love and in 1987, I formed my relationship with God and was baptized.  God continued to work on our relationship not just before we were married but after too.  Liz’s strength of character, and love of God was what I found most amazing about her (the fact that she is beautiful is like gravy on the biscuit).  So I got to learn what strong character is and what pure love is.  But that is not all I have learned from her, whether through observation but actual participation.  One of the greatest things she taught me was patience and forgiveness.  Living with me isn’t easy (as some of you might now), but she sticks with me, putting up with me.
            I could go on about how smart she is, how incredibly beautiful she is, how loyal she is to not just work but to her family.  What a devoted mother she is, a dedicated studier of God’s word, and her unfailing ability to think things through.  To look at all sides and see where all are coming from and then coming up with a plan or solution for all.  She has shown me that praying about situations, God will send you down the path He wants you on.  God is the center of our relationship; which is what He has always wanted.  I thank God for bringing Liz into my life, for allowing her to love me, even when I wasn’t the best person, for letting her see in me what God did (and forgive me for screwing up Prom).  If it wasn’t for Liz, I wouldn’t be the man I am today, my life wouldn’t be an adventure and I wouldn’t have the 2 most amazing kids anyone could ask for (even if they get some of their attitude from my side).  Thank you for always loving me.

Nov. 19
RICHARD & KAREN YOUNG:
            I don’t know where to begin.  I could start with they believed in me and showed me what a relationship with God was.  Or it could be when I bombed out of college my freshman year they believed in me and allowed me to come over, use their computer (apple 2C for you IT geeks), read my English papers and proofread them so I could achieve a good grade and return to college.  How about when they took me on their family vacation to Angel Fire and I learned to ski.  Then there was the day (after 6 years of dating) I asked them for their daughters hand in marriage.  It was then Richard gave me this sage advice; “You know my daughter, so, I guess you know what you’re getting yourself into.”  Or how every time we have moved, Richard has been right there lifting, lugging, loading and hauling without complaint.   It could be when they took me to Elk City and the Rodeo.  It was one of my favorite things to go to Elk City because Grandma Swinehart & her girls were amazing cooks.  I would wake up to the most wonderful breakfasts of eggs, bacon, sausage, hashbrowns, saurkraut, biscuits & sausage gravy.   How about Karen volunteering to paint a mural in both my kids’ rooms 2 different times?  Richard fixing anything that was broken at our house any time they were around.   Driving from Colorado with a trailer, hauling plywood and a generator when Rita was coming when there was no plywood to be found.  I could go on and on and on with all they have done and continue to do.  My in-laws are the most unselfish people that I know.
            But what I am most thankful for is their spirit and not giving up on me.  They saw a kid in high school with potential (and a kid who wanted to date their daughter) and shared with me the need for a relationship with God.  For giving me my first bible (which I still have) in 1986 for christmas.  They are and continue to be an example of the kind of parent/couple/people I strive to be (yet continually fall short).  Their willingness to give and give and give, I hope I can continue to do the things God allows me to do to follow their example.  They have taught me that the only thing that is truly important is family and that includes standing by your family through the good and the bad.
            Having these people in my life is to say they not only saved my life, but they continue to show me the kind of person I want and desire to be.   Thank you for being the solid foundation in my life.

Nov. 20
Matt & Trudy Marsh:
            What I have learned from Matt is how to be in love with your wife, how to love your children, how to love God more, & how to have fun.  I moved to Texas in 1992 after Liz and I graduated and we ended up at UBC a year or so after we moved there and left another church.  Not long after we arrived, a young music director was hired to replaced the one that had resigned.  He was full of energy.  I hadn’t done any singing in several years, and I had lost that passion to sing, so I was content to just sit in a pew.  Somehow he heard that I could sing and invited me to a choir open house and said just come once and if you don’t like it, don’t come back.  He saw something in me that said I needed to be using the gift God had given me.  Needless to say, I did come back and spent 15 years singing with the choir.   Matt’s leadership is above reproach and his dedication to God is without fault.  That lead to other great things as to forming a Gospel Quartet and we were able to sing together for 10 years, many wonderful solo opportunities starting the Gospel Gala and being a mentor to high school singers by helping in youth choir.  I love to watch Matt’s interaction with the students and I was able to learn a lot watching him.  I loved going to A&M/OU football games with him.  One of my favorite memories is when Liz and I were social leaders in our adult Sunday school class and we put together a 2 day marriage seminar in Galveston.  We asked Matt & Trudy to lead the seminar and we asked them to hold nothing back.  They were funny amazing leaders teaching newly married couples how to have a successful marriage.
I love how Matt is so in love with his wife Trudy.  I know a lot of people are in love with their spouse, but when you see Matt & Trudy, you know.  To see him interact with his own two girls; you can tell he is their rock, their stability, their love.  Thank you Cory, Tim & Kenny for letting me take that journey with you in the quartet.  I will be forever grateful that Matt allowed me to use the gift God had given me and gave me my passion for music back that I had been missing.  There are other great stories (like how Matt let Steve Lindsey be mean to me on a choir tour trip), but we will keep those for a later time.  I thank Matt for giving me his friendship, including me on his choir journey’s, & for giving me an opportunity to express how I feel about God in song.

Nov. 21
Karl & B.J. Krueger:
             What I learned from my mom was to know that it was okay for a woman to be just as successful as a man.  What I learned from my dad was that you sacrifice for the ones you love.  I grew up in an atypical family (at least by the 60’-70’s standards).  My father was a successful choir teacher and my mother an equally successful doctor.  Typically those roles are reversed.  My parents also adopted 4 other children after having me, so that I would have siblings.  One of my favorite memories is of my father teaching me to drive on snow and ice.  I had so much fun that day, speeding across the school parking lot and then learning how to control a slide on the ice.  I remember I loved watching my dad direct the choirs and the school musicals.  I used to go into the hospital to visit my mom and I loved watching her work.  I would sit there and listen to her look at these x-rays and then rattle off all these complex sounding words and terms just to describe what she saw.  I was in awe of her.  She is one of the smartest women I know and I always wanted to be as smart as her.  I thank God for letting me have these 2 inspirational parents.

Nov 21
Richard Simmons:
            I have known Richard for some time.  He is one of the most even keeled, level-headed, smartest guys I know; that is what Richard taught me.  How to stay level headed and even keeled.  Richard has been one of those steady friends I have had over the years, and he always make me feel important.  I know that sounds weird, but he makes me feel like I count as far as our friendship is concerned.  We may have never shared NOLA, but we have shared, lunches, dinners, poker games, church & golf.  Richard goes out of his way to make sure everything is going okay in your life.  He is someone I was able to bounce things off and get some good feedback to solve the issue. 
            He is an amazing family man, loving husband and father.  I thankful to God for letting me be a tiny part of Richards life and for letting me learn a little of the characteristics I feel I need.

Nov. 21
Martha & Joe Tanner:
            16 years ago, God brought these inspiring people into my life.  The Tanners taught me how to honor God and to inspire students to want to have a stronger relationship with Christ and to be humble.  They had been teaching Sunday school for many years, and we were lucky enough to be able to partner with them and teach 10th grade Sunday school for 13 years.  They are God inspired people; the kind you hope to get to know so you can grow in your own knowledge of God and His teachings.  Joe was an astronaut and to me and the rest of the world, that truly is the coolest thing ever.  But Joe was very humble about it.  What it allowed him to do was to explain God’s word to many who asked; it was a vehicle to allow people to see a different story of God and his creation.  He got to see God’s beautiful creation from space.  He could have used the notoriety of an astronaut to his benefit, but that was not Joe.  He taught me how to be more humble because of that.  We discovered a few years into our relationship that we lived in the same town at one time and went to the same high school; small world.
Through the Tanners, we were able to have some unbelievable times with them and our Sunday school classes.  One of the best ideas to come from this partnership was Beach Retreat.  A time for students to get away from “their world” of electronics, phones and the dig into the Word of God and for them to examine their own lives.  Their relationship with each other, with other people and with the students was inspiring.   Watching and listening to Joe teach the kids about Christ’s love and watching the kids soak it in, is a gift from God.  Joe was there for me at a very low point in my life and prayed with me.  They are the examples of God fearing, God loving, God honoring people and I learned a lot.  I have had some of the best talks with Joe & Martha; and without Martha, there is no Joe.  They freely gave their friendship to us and I will never forget it.  Thank you God for letting us hang with the Tanners.

Nov. 21
Katherine & Jackson Krueger:
            Most people know that someday they will have kids (their own or adopted) and I was no different.  I never imagined that God would give me the two amazing kids I have.  They are a constant source of frustration and laughter.  Good times and bad.  What I love about them is how each of them is exactly like us.  They have taken on traits that each of us have; which can be challenging sometimes.  I love that my daughter is a great swimmer and as a 7th grader made the JV swim team last year, this year (after only 2 years of playing) made the JV Volleyball team as an 8th grader.  I love to watch her play VB and swim, she has her momma’s athletic ability.  Jackson likes soccer and has come to love basketball, which is what I played back in the day.  I hope to encourage the basketball as it is a fun activity.  I love that Jackson has started playing the clarinet, would be great to have someone in this family that can play and instrument.  I love the sound of my kids on a roller coaster (Jackson laughing, Katherine…not).  I love that my kids are getting to see lots of different places (even if they don’t appreciate it fully now) and that they have done some cool things.  I love that my kids are learning french, even if they don’t like to use it right now, it will serve them well down the road.  I love how creative my daughter is, which she gets from me.  She has made some movies as assignments for class and they have turned out very cool.  I love to watch Jackson build legos.  After he builds the piece according to the directions, he breaks them apart and builds something completely different and makes up a story to it.  I love the fact that for the first time, Jackson has asked to go skiing.  Jackson hasn’t like to do this in the past, but the school he attends takes a group of 3-5th graders for a week into the French Alps and they ski.  If this is a successful trip, maybe he will continue when we get to the states.
            I love that my kids adore their grandparents and have been able to spend a lot of time with them over the years.  The memories I have with my grandparents are the most special that I have.  I thank God for my kids, I pray that my kids continue to allow me to love them.  I will make mistakes and I pray they allow me that and to apologize for my mistakes.  I pray they continue to know you Lord and they further your kingdom.   I pray they have an open mind to the world and the things in them and just love people.  I love you with all my heart (even if I don't say it all the time or when I am upset) and I will always love you.  Thank you Jackson & Katherine Krueger for being my kids.

Nov. 22
Kyle & Mary-Michele Wilson;
            Where to do I begin?  A young man (he is only in his 30’s) entered my life as the new minister to students at UBC.  God was about to open my life and my ears to finally hear what he wanted from my life; and he was going to use Kyle to do it.  I had always heard that God talks to people when they listen.  Some people interpret that as physically speaking (like a voice in your head).  That is not the way it was for me.  For me the way God talked to me was presenting me with a challenge either in my life or in someone else’s and then giving me this feeling that I need to figure out how to solve it.  
I immediately saw how passionate Kyle was for students and for his family.  But it was more than that; Kyle challenged me to get out of my own little box and experience more that God has to offer.  Which is a hard one to do, because I had already been teaching Sunday school for 10 years and feel I had been doing a pretty good job.  One of the first things he did was take a group of students to Waco for a weekend called Poverty Simulation.  In a nutshell, it is a program that lets students actually experience what it is like to be a poor or homeless person.  This is not some fluffy seminar, it is a weekend students must sleep outside, give up all their possessions and have to figure out how they are going to eat for the weekend without any money.  I was one of the chaperones for the weekend and I had to experience what the kids did.  Without retelling the entire weekend, let me just say, that after collecting aluminum cans just to eat, not having showered all weekend and sleeping out in the 28 degree freezing temps in just shorts and t-shirt, it opened up my eyes to not just what the poor and homeless go through, but realizing that my own priorities were not in order. 
For the next 5+ years, Kyle would continue to challenge me to get out of my box and I would follow; attending Silver Cliff, expanding Beach Retreat weekend, and challenging my students more.  The more Kyle challenged me, the more I could hear God talking to me.  Now that I was being challenged, my life became calmer and I began to hear God speaking more often.  Again, it was just a feeling I got that I needed to do something about an issue or problem.  It was because of Kyle’s challenging me (helping to open my heart and ears), that I was able to play a small part in satisfying a need Kyle and his family had in their own life.  Kyle and family only had 1 car and he never complained about only having 1 car, but it was a incredible challenge for a youth minister to get around to different events having to do with students if his family needed the car to get their own kids to their events.  When I saw this, God presented me with a challenge of getting them another car.   I was stunned when I told other people of the challenge they wanted to help.  God provided over 20 people who donated to the cause and within a week, God provided the perfect vehicle.  I was able to witness first hand how gracious God is and how he let me be His servant in this task.  If I had not open my eyes and ears to hear God speak, I would not have been able to follow His plan
There is an old saying that you learn from your elders, but for me I have learned so much from someone younger than me, but wiser beyond his years.  Mary-Michele plays a big part in all this too.  Not only does she have a heart for students, but her support of Kyle allows him to flourish as the Youth Minister.  She works hard taking care of their 4 kids, she also teaches students, takes care of the family, goes on a lot of the youth events & supports Kyle in God’s plan for their life.  Her love of students and her husband allows for God to work in their life.  There are many more lessons I have learned; such as having a huge heart, being foster parents and then adopting 3 more kids, or opening their home to those in need.  I thank God for Kyle and Mary-Michelle, because without them, I would still just be going through the motions in my own Christian walk and not be able to hear what God has planned for me do to in this world for Him to further his Kingdom. Thanks Kyle Wilson and Mary-Michele Manley Wilson for your friendship, your wisdom and your commitment to our students.  Karen Hall Hendrick, thanks for all you do for the youth department, the long hours and keeping kyle in line, on track and organized. Without your incredible dedication, the youth would be lost.

          I am sure as I write this, I will leave out people who God placed in my path.  There are others that have freely given me their friendship susch as Cecil Ferguson, David Smith, Stacy Schaaf, Shannon Edwards, Fred Foreman, Lee Whitlock   Those that know who aren’t mentioned will know they had a hand in it.

Thank you God for loving me before I loved you.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I love Porn........

I know some of you might be disappointed, some of you might be appalled and most of you will laugh. When we moved to france, 2 years ago, I knew that I would have some great opportunity to view and eat some good, okay interesting food.  So now, whenever I find something I like, or make something new or interesting, I take a photo of it.  My wife has now coined it, "My Food Porn."

We have had some amazing food and I have been able to branch out my own cooking more than I did back in Houston; well because I have had more time.  We have had food from a mobile truck all the way up to a 3 star restaurant.

The first thing I taught myself how to make was Julia Childs Beef Bourguignon.  It was much easier that I had imagined it to be and I modified it to my families taste.  Since then, I have made it countless times for Millionaires, Church Pastors and visiting friends and family.  I have since been asked to share this easy recipe and so far, no complaints.  I discovered making this recipe that I shouldn't be afraid to make something just because I have a preconceived notion that it might be too difficult.


 One of foods that I had heard a lot about that was distinctly french was beef tartare.  I had decided that there was no way it would ever touch my lips ever.  I mean really?  Who in their right mind would eat raw ground beef?  We have been taught in the U.S. that things need to be cooked; well most things.  There is sushi after all and carpaccio.  But ground cow?  All we hear about is E-coli, madcow & death.  So why would the french risk it all the time?  Fast forward 18 months and we have 2 great visitiors, Mary Michele Wilson and Jana Laufer and we went out to a great place in the center of Paris.  There were only 2 starters on the menu, one was a crab salad and the other was beef tartare.  3 of us got the crab salad, but the wife decided to spread her wings, tempt her stomach armour, see if her gag reflexes worked and ordered the tartare.  It arrived and I have to tell you it actually looked amazing.  She took a bite and she smiled; not that, I'm trying hard to swallow smile, but that, wow, this is really good, smile.  She said it was really very good.  I then decided to brave it and try it.....Wow!  Was this really that good?  Yes it was.  Now we spoke to the chef and he said that not all beef tartare is alike and it varies from place to place.  he mixed in all the spices and other things directly in it rather than placing them around the plate for you to mix in.  So, this has opened my eyes up to try new things.

Next, I began to learn the art of meat and cheese.  This course can be done in place of the individual starter.  You order this up and you get enough for all to share and is absolutely amazing.  What I took from this, is that you can invite a few friends over, serve up some amazing meat and cheese and pop some wine and you can have a great evening just doing this.  Don't go to Walmart to get your cheese though, go to Central Market, Specs, whole foods, or any other place that specializes in good meats and cheeses.


Salads I have learned come in many forms.  What constitutes a good salad is really what you can find at the market.  One day, I found some amazing heirloom tomatoes in green, yellow, orange and one they call the black tomato (when it is really purple), but looks black before it is cut open.  Throwing tomatoes, cucumbers, avacodos and other veggies (and maybe some cheeses) on a pretty platter and it can be served family style.  Don't just always think lettuce thrown together with other toppers, take a chance and experiment with great produce.

One of the things on our bucket list was to eat at a restaurant that had a "star" attached as it's rating.  We were blessed enough to go with some really good friends of ours; Bryan & Deb O'Neil.  What I didn't  realize until after we got there that Lasserre was a 3-Star restaurant.  Now what you don't realize, I am cheap; although I prefer frugal.  How Lasserre works is you either choose from a 6 course meal or an 8 course meal and everyone has to choose the same course (6 or 8).  When I looked at the prices, I realized that I could take a nice vacation for this; but as the "wives" kept saying, it is a once in a lifetime opportunity.  We all chose 8 courses and all I can say that it was really an amazing night.  The roof of the restaurant opened up and you could see the eiffel tower.  I am not the kind of person (even if I won the lottery) that would ever think of spending that kind of money on food again, but it was fun to do just once.  Especially when it is with great friends.


I didn't even talk about desserts, well because....it's dessert.  I am going to wrap up this drivel with more food porn.  Don't be afraid to try something new, cook something you don't think you can do and experiment.

Bon Appetite!!