LOOK OUT Lance Armstrong.....I'm the guy in your way as you ride by

So, today was the inaugural ride. I decided the best way to do this was to let the kids ride their bikes to school (which is what they have been bugging me about) and test everything out. I get out my specially designed riding shorts; which by the way feels as if I am wearing a huge woman's pad between my legs. Then there was the specially designed shoes that go with the pedals that I bought which have tiny clips in them so your feel feel like they are cemented in (must be what an outgoing Mob Boss feels like as he enters the river).

Next it was time to don the helmet. Perfect fit and fit as though I remembered it. So out we went. To the end of the drive and walked all the bikes across the street. The kids mounted their and so did I. For 2 minutes, I struggled to get my feet clipped in (never having practiced this ahead of time). I finally got them in and as we approached a stoplight, I panic'd as I couldn't get my feet out of the clips until brut strength won out. So we got to the school without much fanfare, but with much worry from me as my kids rode in the bike lane on the street (not sure we can do that again). The one thing that I also didn't figure out ahead of time (because I had ridden bikes before) but how to switch gears. I could switch them down, but I couldn't figure out how to gear it up. So at the school, after about 10 minutes of following all the moving parts, I figured out this very complex riding machine.

Now it was time to head home. It is a 2km ride there, so 2km ride back. As I started back my vision of Grandeur gave way to my body mocking me. It was basically all downhill going to school, so now it was all uphill going home. The old saying it's like riding a bike, you never forget. You may not forget, but your body sure has a short memory as to how hard it was. The heavy breathing and the now burning, shooting pain in my legs was telling me that uphill was probably not the way to start training. So half way back to the house (only 1km into my ride home) I had to stop, take off the shoes and walk the rest of the way home. I did get a bunch of strange looks as people know that is not the way to ride a bike.

I guess the moral of this story is going to have to be....use a trainer (that is a stand the rear wheel goes on so you can ride inside as a stationary bike) until you build up the required muscles to be able to venture outside to an even harder challenge.

Sorry muscles, we will work more tomorrow.

HEADLINE FRANCE.....Stupid American and his son get locked in the Parc de St. Cloud

So Jackson got a new bike yesterday and so after putting it together, he and I went to the park across the street and taught him how to change gears (first multiple gear bike). The park closes (gets locked up) at 8:50pm. We were only about 15 yards from the gate, and it started to get dark, I look down and it was 8:40, so we headed back up the hill 15 yards to find the gate locked. So jackson sort of started freaking out; it was locked and it was getting dark. I told him we would head down to find another way to get out and went to the next gate. Jackson go there first and it was locked and he started screaming and crying we were locked in. Again, I told him, we would keep walking and see if we can find a way out. After walking part of the park, we found no other place to get out.

So, I called one of the expat parents I had recently talked to and told them of our dilemma. She and her husband got in the car and headed our way as well as they called the local police to find out what to do(as there is no phone number on the inside of the gate). As we were standing there waiting, a couple across the street walking their dog looked at us with a puzzled look. I didn't yell out, "hey we're trapped" cause if they only spoke french, we were doomed to communicate. She wandered across the street and I said, "Bonsoir, parlez vous anglais?" She said, "of course." She said, "Hey you are part of ASP!" (all that time volunteering paid off). I told her and her husband what had happened and so now they are trying to help. They went next door which was the Pasteur Institute and the guard there couldn't help either, but now he was on the phone now too talking to the police. The one couple who was walking their dog now had brought back 2 30' aluminum ladders that we put one through the fence and I propped it up. The guard next door kept yelling in french that we shouldn't try and climb over that it was dangerous and wait for the police.

We were now an hour into our ordeal, 3 phone lines going to the police and a big fat cop on a motorcycle comes down and stops and just looks and starts asking why there are ladders on the fence, not recognizing me and jackson on the other side (even though that is why he was called in the first place). He sort of meandered off the bike, came up to the gate, looked at me with this, "stupid american" smirk on his face and let us out.

So, to Steve and Erin Nowicki (THANK YOU) to the other ASP family who stopped (whose name I didn't get THANK YOU), and to all my ASP (american expats) here in France.....don't get locked in the park after the time, but if you do...call the police and just wait. Lesson learned.